CNN LARRY KING LIVE
The Power of Positive Thinking
Aired November 16, 2006 – 21:00 ET
THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.
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LARRY KING, CNN HOST (voice-over): Tonight, want to find true love, make more money, have the life of your dreams? Then think about it. That’s right. The power of your thoughts can improve your life. Sound unthinkable? Well, science says there’s something to it, so engage your brain for an amazing hour that could transform your world and help you live happily ever after.
It’s all next on LARRY KING LIVE.
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KING: Welcome to the second in our series of how to go beyond the power of positive thinking and use it to change your life. Since last week’s show was such a success, we decided to dive right back into the topic tonight with a different set of guests. They’ll tell us how we can use the power of your imagination and mind to create what we want in our lives and how science supports it.
Our guests are: James Ray, President and CEO of James Ray International, a multimillion dollar corporation dedicated to teaching individuals to create wealth in all areas of their lives. That’s financially, relation wise, intellectually, physically and spiritually.
Jack Canfield, the famed originator of the “Chicken Soup for the Soul” series of books. It sold over 100 million copies. Jack was one of the earliest champions of peak performance. And, he’s the co- author of “Dare to Win, the Power of Focus,” and his latest, “The Success Principles, how to get from where you are to where you want to be.”
Dr. Joe Vitale is president of Hypnotic Marketing, Inc. and the founder and president of the Hypnotic Marketing Institute. Joe is also an ordained minister, a certified metaphysical practitioner and a certified hypnotherapist.
Dr. George Pratt, chairman of psychology at Scripps Memorial Hospital in La Jolla, California and co-author of “Instant Emotional Healing.”
And, finally, Jayne Payne therapist, social worker and licensed chemical dependence counselor.
We begin with James Ray. What is the law of attraction? JAKMES RAY, CEO, JAMES RAY INTERNATIONAL: Well, Larry, science tells us that every single thing that appears to be solid is actually energy. Your body is energy. Your car is energy, your house, everything, money, all of it is energy.
You put it under a high-powered microscope it’s nothing more than a field of energy and a rate of vibration and like vibrations are attracted to each other and dissimilar vibrations repel. So, the law of attraction says when you’re in a certain vibration you’re going to attract to you that which you’re in vibration or harmonic vibration with.
KING: Jack Canfield, do you accept that?
JACK CANFIELD, ORIGINATOR OF “CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE SOUL” SERIES: Yes, I just basically say the law of attraction says like attracts like. So, if you want to be successful you need to come from a place of vibrating that you’re successful. You need to be thinking about the successes you already have.
If you want to attract more money you need to be thinking abundantly, so even though you might only be making $40,000 a year you want to be focusing on your gratitude for that coming from a state of abundance.
And then what happens is you’ll attract more abundance to you. If you’re talking all the time about what you don’t want or how bad it is, then what you’re going to attract is more how bad it is.
KING: Is this science, Joe?
JOE VITALE, HYPNOTIC MARKETING INSTITUTE: It sure is on a fundamental level whatever you focus on you get more of. If you’re focusing on lack, you’re going to get more lack. If you focus on abundance, you’re going to get more abundance.
I tell people find something in your life right now to be grateful for because at that point you will start to attract more things to be grateful for. It’s absolutely workable, testable science.
KING: Can you really, Dr. Pratt, make your own happiness? I mean let’s say you go downstairs and your car has just been hit. You can’t be happy that minute.
DR. GEORGE PRATT, SCRIPPS MEMORIAL HOSPITAL: You can’t control external circumstances. All you can do is balance yourself so that if something traumatic happened we want to teach people how to balance themselves very rapidly. So, shifting it to the positive allows you to actually change your life.
KING: Jayne, you deal in chemical dependency, right?
JAYNE PAYNE, THERAPIST: Yes.
KING: How can you do this if you’re depressed? PAYNE: Well depression…
PAYNE: Bipolar, bipolar is a phenomena that has long been said it needs medication and I’m not going to argue with that. However, they have done scientific research that shows that depression is anger turned inward. And, anger usually come from unresolved issues.
And so, what I like to do with someone that comes to me that’s depressed, I tell them “Focus on the point of reference in your life that’s positive and look at what caused that positive effect.” And then they have something tangible to work with.
KING: James are we always all day long attracted or not attracted to things? Is this a constant “I like that, I don’t like this, I want this, I don’t want that?”
RAY: We are. I mean we’re consistently attracting. I mean every single thing you have in your life right now you’re either in resonance with it or, if it’s not in your life, you’re not in resonance with it.
If you want to create anything you want, anything you desire, you have to practice what I call going three for three. Your thoughts, your feelings, and your actions all need to be firing simultaneously and in alignment. When you go three for three, you’re absolutely unstoppable. You can create anything you want.
KING: Jack, do we create our own positive negatives?
CANFIELD: I do believe that. I think we’re constantly creating whatever comes into our life and if you focus on what you want, as Joe said earlier, you get what you want. If you focus on what you don’t want, you get more of that.
And we often think we’re focusing on something like saying “I don’t want to be overweight anymore.” But what we’re focusing on is overweight anymore. So, we have to state it in a more positive way.
And when we do that what happens is our mind and our emotions follow our thoughts and then our behaviors follow our emotions. I choose to make myself happy. Abraham Lincoln said back in 1865 happiness is a choice and the fact is it really is.
KING: True, Joe, if your house burns down it’s how you react to your house burning down?
VITALE: No, I’m going to disagree with a couple of the things said here.
VITALE: Oh, you like this. Well, I’m going to disagree because I believe that you are attracting everything, every little thing, the car accident, everything that you could name but we’re doing it on an unconscious level. We’re not aware of it.
KING: I attracted my own car accident?
VITALE: You absolutely did. We are attracting everything unconsciously. That’s why we have to read the books, like Jack’s books or Jayne’s books or my books so that we can begin to wake up.
We can begin to take conscious control of what we’ve been doing unconsciously. At this point, we want to start looking at why did I attract it? Yes, you can put a positive spin on why you attracted it but I’m saying you did attract it.
KING: What, Dr. Pratt, is the law of vibration?
PRATT: The law of vibration is — reflects a certain harmony or being in sync with something. You’ve heard of that phrase, “You’re on my frequency.” Everything has a frequency and, if we go to super string theory, everything is little vibrating packets of energy. So, we have a frequency.
KING: Let me get a break.
Up next, you can’t get what you want in life until you know what you want in life. We’ve got some simple advice that can help you put together your personal wish list when LARRY KING LIVE continues.
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RAY: The universe states, there’s a law in your universe that says the more you give the more you get or receive. This is true in your finances, no or yes?
I really wasn’t a great student in school. I was one of those individuals who always wanted to get out and do something.
Let me tell you something about real wealth. We’re going to discuss that a lot this evening because I can guarantee you this. You might go after the money and get rich. It doesn’t mean you’re going to be wealthy.
I got hit head on by a car in the late ’90s and it just totally changed my life, late ’80s I should say. It just totally changed my life because I had to step back and realize that, you know, the physical body could be taken out in an instant.
And so I started looking at things a lot differently. It was a real significant emotional event for me.
Your one purpose on this planet, one purpose on this planet, is to grow. That’s it.
There’s never been a time in my life where I didn’t feel like the most important thing was to understand the laws of the universe and how things worked and how they applied to body, mind, and spirit.
You see I’ve been talking about quantum physics for over a decade and most people in the audience have drool running. They’re like what? And now, now people are opening their minds.
And what I realize is that no matter where you are in life challenges are a part of life and to think otherwise is illusion. It really is. You know we always have challenges in life and the bigger the game you play, the bigger the challenges.
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RAY: Every great tradition has told you that you were created in the image and the likeness of the creative source. That means that you have got potential and power to create your world and you are. You are. And maybe you’ve created things to this point that are wonderful and worthy of you and maybe you haven’t.
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KING: Jayne Payne, are you agreeing with what’s been said so far?
PAYNE: Yes. One of the interesting things I found working with clients that come to me, usually I get clients that aren’t manifesting what they want in their life. That’s why they’re seeing me.
And one of the things I look at is they’re operating out of unresolved issues, particularly of abandonment. And so once I work through the grief process of those issues, what I find is a lot of people the reason they’re not attracting what they want in their life is they’re operating out of need.
If they’d operate out of want and desire, then they would get what they want. So, I talk about and I have them focus a lot of desire, belief, and then expect it to happen.
KING: Jack Canfield, how do we find out what we want in life? That may sound ridiculous but a lot of people probably don’t know.
CANFIELD: Well, there are a number of ways but one of the ways that I like to start with my clients is what I call create an irritation list. Go through your house, your apartment, your office, your garage, list down everything that isn’t exactly the way you want it and that tells you what you’re not satisfied with.
Now you take it from that level to what she was just talking about and turn it into the vision of what you would like to have. I want that door to close without it slamming. I want the picture not to do this. I want it to be straight, you know. I want my people in my office to be positive.
KING: Some people might take a month with an irritation list.
CANFIELD: Well, you know, usually about two hours you can get it done. Then you go through and you create the opposite so you know what you want. And then what you have to do is schedule time to go ahead and do it.
Like I say if you take a weekend and just handle all the little things and why is this important? Most of us are talking about our big vision, our big goals, world peace, things like that, becoming a millionaire.
But, if you don’t handle the little irritations and you settle for them what happens is you go into subtle resignation, “I can’t have what I want” and you have to numb out your awareness to see it. And then you numb out that little kid inside that says “Wow, I can have everything.”
KING: Joe, how do you clear out negative self talk?
VITALE: One of my favorites is to become a loving detective of your own mental activity. So, in other words, thoughts are going through our brains right now. They’re going through yours. They’re going through mine. They’re going through your listeners, the watchers, all of this.
Some are positive. Some are negative. What you want to do is start to notice which ones are the ones that make you feel good and you want to reach for the thoughts that feel good. You start to go in the direction of having more of those.
And, going back to my earlier statement fundamental law and psychology you get more of whatever you focus on. Focus on the positive thoughts and those negative ones are going to start to drop away or you won’t pay attention to them as much.
KING: In a moment, we’ll take a question from the audience.
But, James, what are the five areas you focus on?
RAY: I’ve coined something I call harmonic wealth and harmonic wealth has five key pillars, financial, relational, intellectual, physical, and spiritual. You see I talk to people all the time who have one, two, maybe three of those and they still feel unfulfilled. A true state of wealth is a state of harmonic wealth and when you’re there you’re really, really wealthy.
KING: Let’s take a question from members of our studio audience who are with us today. Let’s go to C.J. Minster (ph) — C.J.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Thank you. In light of the general inflexibility in the U.S. workforce how is it possible to plan for a family while planning your career path?
KING: Who wants to grab that?
CANFIELD: Well I think the underlying assumption is what we call either/or. I can either have this family or I can have work. And, if you take the position you can have both and make that your goal, make that your vision, start visualizing that that’s what you want, believing you can have it, creating the vibration of what it would be like imagining having a perfect integrated life of fulfillment at work and fulfillment at home.
And, if you do that, then what will happen is your unconscious will begin to come up with the ideas, the ways to create that. You’ll attract to you the work opportunities, the resources, the right boss, whatever it is to do that. So the main thing is the assumption is wrong.
KING: Do all of you agree with the concept of visualization?
VITALE: Absolutely. That’s a powerful thing.
CANFIELD: The mind thinks in pictures.
VITALE: I would add to it though, I don’t think visualization by itself is quite enough that a lot of people are using mental imagery and they are getting some results, not always the results that they want, not always as fast as they want.
I have written about this. I have said that you have to add feeling to it. So, in other words, when you’re visualizing that you’re in this new car or in your Maui home or whatever it happens to be, you don’t just see the picture of it and you don’t see just you in the picture.
You see yourself experiencing it as if it’s right now. You feel it. You see it. You live it. When you do that you accelerate the manifestation process. You go way beyond positive thinking.
KING: What’s a positive affirmation, Jayne.
PAYNE: A positive affirmation is something that you usually tell yourself every day and I usually do it visually with my clients. I have them do poster boards and I have them map out where they want to go.
And I have them actually physically cut out pictures and I put them on the board, have them put them on the board and they look at them daily and they affirm to themselves daily. “This is what I want. This is where I’m going to go.” And then I have them take it a step further. I have them take it to where what will it feel like when you get there?
CANFIELD: Kids do this naturally. My son when he wanted a surfboard all of a sudden his whole wall was covered with surfboard pictures.
VITALE: Yes. Yes.
CANFIELD: They naturally do this. And then somehow we get talked out of it as we grow up as adults and we stop doing it.
PRATT: Besides adding the emotion which is so important to add all five sensory channels is extremely powerful. We know this from the Soviet studies on enhanced performance. The brain can’t really tell the difference between a real event and a highly-imaged experience.
KING: Coming up — let me get a break and we’ll be right back. Unlucky in love, our panel has some great advice on how to trade Mr. Wrong for Mr. Right or Ms. Wrong for Ms. Right when LARRY KING LIVE continues.
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CANFIELD: Events plus responses equal outcomes and if you don’t get the outcomes you want it’s because you haven’t responded correctly to the events that have occurred up until that time.
My mom and my dad got divorced when I was six and so I settled in Wheeling, West Virginia, grew up in a kind of a normal lower middle class life.
Then you have to be willing to ask yourself, “What am I willing to sacrifice in terms of time, effort, resources, money, et cetera, in order to achieve those goals?”
And it was in Chicago that I met this man named W. Clement Stone, who was a self-made multi-millionaire and he was worth $600 million and he took me under his wing and basically said to me, “If you’ll teach these success principles to others, I’ll teach them to you.”
And that’s really what I see, the kind of work I do which is we remove the block so the natural essence of who you are comes forward without effort. In fact, it gets easier.
Yes, I think one of the key principles of success is never give up. You have to persevere, called consistent persistence, and the best example would be “Chicken Soup for the Soul.” When we went to sell that book we were rejected by every major publisher in New York, all 22 of the big ones.
And the key there is that over 14 months of rejections from the time we started in New York until we finally got a publisher and the message is never give up on your dreams because if we’d stopped after 100 and said “Well obviously this isn’t supposed to happen,” I wouldn’t be sitting here today.
And what I found in life is if you ask people to support you, nine times out of ten they will.
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I live in a $4.5 million mansion. I have a wife to die for. I get to vacation in all the fabulous spots of the world. I have climbed mountains. I have explored. I’ve been on safaris. And all of this happens and continues to happen because of knowing how to apply the secret.
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KING: We’re back with our panel. The importance of learning to love yourself first, James, before you love anybody is that true? If you don’t love yourself, you can’t love anybody else?
RAY: It’s absolutely true, Larry. You see I travel all around the world and the whole concept of soul mate is often inherently flawed because it says that your completion or your better half resides outside yourself.
Intellectually we know better than that. I mean your completion doesn’t reside outside yourself. Your completion resides inside yourself. You will never, ever attract a perfect relationship with another human being into your life until you first and foremost have a perfect relationship with yourself.
KING: Why, Jack, in life probably the hardest thing is maintaining a happy relationship?
CANFIELD: Well because we tend to project the unexpressed parts of ourself, the unaccepted parts of ourself out onto the other person and we keep trying to get them to change so that we’ll be happy.
And really what the value of a relationship is, is to reflect back and mirror back to us the parts of ourself we haven’t integrated love in order to express fully.
So, if we learn that then we can create a great relationship so that when my wife, I, you know, “is making me angry,” I really look inside and say “Well what is it about me that I’m rejecting in her that I need to clean up?” And if I can do that, then the relationship becomes a fabulous place to grow and a fabulous place for fulfillment.
KING: Are you in trouble, Joe, if your emotional happiness is dependent on someone else?
VITALE: Yes, absolutely. In fact, if you’re trying to go beyond positive thinking, you’re trying to manifest anything and you’re sending out these negative energies about addiction, about obsession, about emotional need then that’s what you’re going to get more of and you will have a very fractured relationship that is not going to last.
KING: Dr. Pratt, the importance of healing after a relationship ends before a new one starts.
PRATT: Essential, people (INAUDIBLE).
KING: Can’t go from one to the other?
PRATT: No. You need a little time to heal, to learn about yourself and understand what happened in the relationship. And, if you’re having a problem with somebody unless there is some pretty other serious circumstances, there is a mirror there so those — you have learned something about yourself in the process.
KING: Why do people keep dating the same or being involved with the same kind of person that hurt him before?
PAYNE: Yes, that’s a good one because dealing with addictions, one of the biggest causes of relapse in addictions, by the way, is relationship issues. And, the bottom line is, is at the point of abandonment it begins a loss of our identity. And what happens is then we spend the rest of our time trying to look for that missing piece and we look for it in others. And the bottom line is it’s not in others, it’s in ourselves.
KING: We have an audience question from Alexandra Goldman — Alexandra.
ALEXANDRA GOLDMAN: My question is how do you maintain a successful love relationship while growing as an individual when people so often grow apart?
RAY: Well, one of the things that I suggest you do is sit down with your mate and talk about where you’re going and what’s important to you in your relationship. Once you do that then you can take steps together to begin moving in that direction.
KING: What about relationship addictions, doctor?
PRATT: You can become addicted to anything. That’s when you find some fulfillment or you get a release of dopamine or some other neuro chemical when you’re around them. It creates a high. And that the absence of that puts you into a state of deprivation.
KING: Joe, can you hypnotize yourself out of a bad relationship?
VITALE: That’s an interesting question.
KING: Say you’re in love, you’re hung up and it’s going nowhere and you want to get out but you can’t get out.
VITALE: Oh, you can always get out. Your hypnotized yourself into it actually. You know you’re talking — yes, so you absolutely did. You know I wrote this whole book, “The Attractor Factor.” There’s five steps on achieving whatever you want.
But actually since I wrote it, I found that there’s only this one step and this one step is, and I can’t do it all the time, and I don’t know anybody else that can do it all the time, but it cuts through the relationship. It breaks the trance. It fulfills a lot of things we need. Be happy in this moment. Be happy now. This is the point of power. Everything else is in the past or in the future.
KING: Just ahead, positive thinking and your pocketbook. Find out how it can pay off financially when LARRY KING LIVE comes back.
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VITALE: When I was in Dallas, and this would have been in the late ’70s, I was virtually, I was not virtually, I was homeless for a short period of time. You don’t ever want to be homeless for a single day but I was for a short period of time.
But throughout it all, I was always maintaining my vision, my goal, my focus. I want to be an author. I want to write books. And I would say I would owe it all to the principles that are in the movie “The Secret,” the principles I talk about in my books like “The Attractor Factor,” and, of course, through never giving up, never giving up the dream, the desire, the hope, that vision and constantly going forward with it.
Because you are the masterpiece of your own life, you are the Michelangelo of your own life. The David that you are sculpting is you.
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VITALE: Well another thing people wonder about is how long is this going to take? How long will it take to manifest the car, the relationship, the money whatever it happens to be?
Well, I don’t have any rule book that says it’s going to take you 30 minutes or three days or 30 days. I think it’s more a matter of you being in alignment with the universe itself.
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KING: We’re back on this very special edition of beyond the power of positive thinking. Our guests are James Ray, president and CEO of James Ray International; Jack Canfield, the famed originator of the “Chicken Soup for the Soul” series; Dr. Joe Vitale, president of the Hypnotic Marketing, Incorporated organization and founder and president of the Hypnotic Marketing Institute; Dr. George Pratt is chairman of psychology at Scripps Memorial Hospital in La Jolla, California; and Jayne Payne is a therapist, social worker and a licensed chemical dependent counselor.
We’re going to talk about money in this segment. James, what’s — explain the power of partnerships.
RAY: Well, I made a decision several years ago, over a decade ago, that really changed my life. I made a decision I wasn’t going to spend high quantity time with people I didn’t want to be.
KING: This is in the financial area we’re discussing.
RAY: Yes. Financially or anyway — in any area, actually. You know, because I looked around at the people I was hanging out with, and they weren’t going the same places I was going, they weren’t doing the same things I was doing, they weren’t thinking the way I was thinking. So they were holding me back.
So I made a decision to start spending more time with people that were like-minded and moving in the direction I was going. KING: Jack, explain the time management system.
CANFIELD: Well, basically the system is divided into three parts. You divide your days into three kind of days. Focus days, free days and buffer days.
And a focus day is 85 percent of your time is focused on the 20 percent of your life that produces 80 percent of the results. So each of us has something that we do naturally that we would call our core genius. For me it’s teaching, speaking, writing, et cetera.
The second kind of day is a free day. It’s midnight to midnight with no work related activity. And by that definition, there are some people who haven’t had a free day in three years. And what we now know from the studies is the people that take more free days actually end up making more money, because when they’re off, that’s when the creative ideas come forward, the inspirations for new products, new ideas, new services, new ways to be in the world.
And the third kind of day is a buffer day. And that’s when you are doing the things like delegating, preparation. You have to go out there and run around and do your laundry and get all that stuff done.
But the point is, that we do have to have those days. So the key is, you want to have more focus days, more free days and less buffer days. And you want to have your schedule determine what kind of day it is, so you’re not just responding to people, you’re intentional.
KING: Joe, how do we increase the speed of attaining financial career goals?
VITALE: I think it is a couple of things. One of them is focussing on what you want, being very clear on the amount of money, making sure it’s a stretch, but it’s still believable.
Another thing is to visualize it with feeling, making sure that that feeling element is there.
And the third is to be taking action, and make sure that you’re acting on the ideas. Because when your stated intention is that you want to have so much money, and start to take action for it, you will start to go in that direction. You’ll start to have ideas, but your bargain is you have to act on those ideas or nothing will get done.
KING: Doctor, is a personal coach a good idea?
PRATT: I think we all need coaching. And I think we can all benefit from learning in new ways.
I know that when you’re thinking about coaching or using others as resources, even in the financial area, new ideas can present some very interesting opportunities.
KING: Go ahead. I want to get an audience question, but go ahead, Joe. VITALE: OK, I just wanted to — you asked about coaching. I want to point out how important it is to have a coach, because most of us are thinking within this little ball and nest of beliefs. We don’t know what the beliefs are because they are what we think all the time. Somebody else, a coach on the outside can listen to you and feedback to you what your own thoughts are.
KING: An objective.
VITALE: Objective person, yes.
KING: We have a question in the audience from Rob Christie (ph) — Rob.
Thank you, everybody.
I’m a single man with a single income, and I love my job. I love what I do. But it puts me at a certain financial level, and are there any actual steps that you can recommend to help me obtain my goal of buying a house and, more importantly, buying a house where I want to live, which is at the beach?
KING: James, is he thinking out of bounds?
RAY: Well, you know, it really depends. You’ve got to get really clear. If that house is what you want, then you’ve got to, again, think, feel and act as if you are going to get that house. You’ve got to take the action.
You know, I’ve worked with several individuals who couldn’t come up with the money for the down payment, but they went ahead and took the action towards it, and by and large, they attracted $100,000, $20,000 here, $10,000 here from their friends and family. And they bought the home.
So you’ve got to take that action. You’ve got to move forward, thinking, feeling, acting and knowing that you can do that. And you can make it happen. You really can.
CANFIELD: My mentor was a man named W. Clement Stone, who worth $600 million when I worked for him. And he taught me this principle. And I was a teacher in Chicago making $8,000 a year. And I took a course with him. And he said I want you to set a goal that’s so big that if you achieve it, you’ll know it’s because of what I’m teaching you.
So I set a goal to make $100,000 in one year. Now, you know,they don’t pay you more to become a good teacher. So I had no idea how I was going to do that, but I visualized it, I had an affirmation, I felt the feelings, I saw myself living in this $100,000 lifestyle.
And to make a long story short, what happened was I started getting ideas. I would be in the shower and this inspiration would come, hey, you have a book. It gets 25 cents royalty every time it gets sold. If you sell 400,000 copies of that book, you’d make $100,000.
Now, I didn’t know how to do that. My publisher didn’t know how to do that. But I started visualizing 400,000 book copies sold. And what changed it was my wife said one day that if we were a bookstore, we would make three dollars a book, then we’d only have to sell 33,000 copies. And by the end of the year we had a mail-order bookstore with 32 different books and tapes and we made $92,328. And I was still a teacher making $8,000, which gives me what?
A $100,000 a year income.
VITALE: Get the house.
KING: We’ll take a break and be back with more.
Still to come, the keys to using emotional awareness to control your physical health.
Don’t go away.
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PAYNE: Relationship addictions are a loss of one’s self that occurs when abandonment occurs. And what happens at the point of abandonment, when we’re given messages, because we are sexual beings, we’re given messages that say, you’re not OK as a girl, you’re not OK as a boy. And we grow up feeling that we’re not OK as sexual beings, so what we do is we try to get those two parts to come together by getting into constant relationships over and over and over again.
And so when those don’t work, we eventually end up finally grieving the loss of the abandonment and we stop abandoning ourselves.
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RAY: How can you ever expect anyone else to enjoy your company if you don’t enjoy your own company? And so, again, the Law of Attraction, or the secret is about bringing that into your life. And you’ve got to get really, really clear.
Here’s a question I want to ask you to consider. Do you treat yourself the way that you want other people to treat you?
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KING: We’re back. Jayne Payne, how do we change habits?
PAYNE: One of the ways to change habits is first become aware you have one. And that’s where the outside coaching comes in. And usually people that have habits that are not working for them in their lives will end up in some form of therapy or end up in some kind abusive relationships or getting negative responses.
KING: This panel is not against therapy, is it? UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Not at all.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Not at all. I think works.
PAYNE: It works together…
KING: How do you cure an addiction, George?
PRATT: Well, you get to the source of it. You support. You change your thinking. You make decisions, you write goals, you go to some kind of 12 step group and you apply the self-calming techniques that are available in a number of resources.
KING: Jayne, explain your intensive grief weekends.
PAYNE: OK. The grief weekends are a weekend where people come and they go down to the very core issue, the very bottom line of why they aren’t accomplishing what they want to accomplish in life.
And we work through it, through the grieving process. And at the end, we have a funeral. We bury it. And therefore it is no more. And I always get to the point where we talk at the end, if you go within, you never go without.
KING: Are you saying you can think good health?
RAY: You can. You can. You can just as easily think good health as you can think poor health. You’ve to give your attention to something, Larry. So energy flows where attention goes. If you get up every single morning and you are giving all your attention to how overweight, out of shape and broke you are, then energy is going to flow in that direction.
KING: Yes, but you can’t outthink cancer.
RAY: Well, there is a lot of documented cases where there has been complete remission, complete turnaround.
You know, cancer is a process. And your body turns over. We know that in the medical profession, that your body turns over every seven years or less, every cell, every bone, everything. So when you’re diagnosed with a cancer, it is a process of cancering yourself. When you stop that process, you can reverse it. And there is plenty of documented cases.
KING: You work with dolphins?
PRATT: Yes. I do seminars in Hawaii. And that includes swimming with dolphins.
KING: What do you do?
PRATT: Well, it is a heck of a lot of fun to begin with. So it is helpful for our own neurochemicals. But an interesting study came out in a British medical journal last fall that in the clinical trials, swimming with dolphins one hour a day for 10 days helped to reset mild to moderate depression, interestingly.
And I also want to say one thing about what you were saying that ties into the dolphins, and that is I want people to — in the prevention process, to be going through a gratitude list in the shower, 10 things in the morning, to make sure they get at least three laughs during the day, to do some deep breathing and seeing whatever they want to have happen for two minutes a day.
KING: So is there any area of life this doesn’t work?
VITALE: What a great question.
KING: That’s why I asked it.
VITALE: I’m glad you did. I’m glad you did. You know, I don’t know that there are any limits whatsoever. I keep finding out that what we think is a limit doesn’t become a limit. Once we start addressing it, we set a goal to go past it. I mean, it is the old four-minute mile, it’s about going to the moon, it’s about, you know, Larry, I was homeless at one point. I was in poverty for the longest time. I’m now a bit of an Internet celebrity. I have got more books than I can remember that are out there, most of which are best- sellers. Last week, I bought myself one of 300 hand-made luxury sports cars, a Panoz Esperante, and I’m a guy who was homeless 30 some years ago, paying cash for a luxury car.
You can change your life and you can dissolve anything that you think is your limit. Thirty years ago, I would have said, no, I can’t get a — what is a sports car?
KING: Jayne, you put any limit on anything?
PAYNE: No. There are no limits. Our unconscious mind doesn’t know anything is not possible. And if you tap into that…
GANFIELD: Let me tell you a really interesting story. This guy named Cliff Young shows up at a race in Australia, 61 years old, he’s wearing Oshkosh overalls, a t-shirt, baseball cap, construction boots and galoshes. And it’s a six-day run from Sydney to Melbourne, 650 kilometers. All the young guys who are there, these elite runners, and they think this guy is crazy, he can’t possibly do this.
So they all take off and they’re all running really fast, and Cliff is kind of doing this what they call the Cliff Young shuffle.
And the thing he didn’t know, because he had never read a book on racing, he’d never talked to a runner, he just read what was in the paper and wanted to go do it, is that on these long runs, you’re supposed to run for 18 hours, sleep for six.
So that night when everyone went to sleep, he was so far behind, no one told him to go to bed. He ran right by everybody and ran nonstop for five and a half days, Larry, and broke the record of that race by 12 hours.
And he came back the next year, everyone was doing the Cliff Young shuffle, and there were 70 people in the race and they all broke records. But he came in number 12 out of 70.
So he didn’t know there was a limit. He didn’t know you were supposed to do that.
And we’re all controlled by what we have been told is possible instead of told as children, anything is possible.
KING: So the old axiom, mind over matter, works?
KING: When we come back, we’ll talk about some of the key steps that can help you find success. We’ll be right back.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
PRATT: It has been very interesting over the years. I started in practice, always trying to help people be their best, and that wasn’t always the case with psychology in general. Some people were more oriented in different directions. But mine was a more positive approach, which is now popular.
And I will tell you that even though my seminars that I do where we do end up swimming with dolphins in the wild — we don’t bother them, we let them swim by us if they want to — is what happens to people after the seminar, combination of education and then being in the energetic field with the dolphins, it’s pretty phenomenal. People are — they’re strengthened, they’re empowered, and they feel like they can do what they need to do. And whether you think you can do something or you can’t, you’re right. So you might as well focus on the positive.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
GANFIELD: Decide what you want. Believe you can have it. Believe you deserve it. Believe it is possible for you. And then close your eyes every day for several minutes and visualize having what you already want and feeling the feelings of already having it.
Come out of that, and focus on what you’re grateful for already. And really be — enjoy it, OK? And then go into your day and release it to the universe, and trust that the universe will figure out how to manifest it.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
KING: James Ray, you say gratitude is the most powerful force. Does it work?
RAY: It really is. Well, energy flows where attention goes. If you have a relationship, a romantic relationship, and you’re grateful and you love him or her, you give them attention, right? If you have children and you love them, you give them attention. Attention equals love.
KING: Why aren’t we grateful?
RAY: Most people are in love with their misery, because they’re attending to it all the time. It’s like a roaring bonfire and they’re throwing another log on it every day.
KING: Jack, what…
GANFIELD: Focus on what you’re grateful for. What it focuses you on is what you want more in your life. The reason you’re grateful is it makes you happy. You’re feeling good about it. So by focusing your gratitude on that, as you were saying every morning, you know, go through a gratitude list — I spend seven minutes every morning writing down what I’m grateful for.
KING: Joe, what is the danger of feeling desperate?
VITALE: You’re going to attract more desperation. The energy that you send out is the attractor. This is from my book, “The Attractor Factor.” It’s got to pull back whatever it is that you’re feeling. You’re going to get more of it. So if you’re feeling desperate, the only thing that you’re going to notice, the only thing that you’re going to attract are more feelings, thoughts and situations that will make you feel desperate.
KING: Perseverance is very important, right, doc?
PRATT: Perseverance, persistence, developing new habits.
KING: And that can be taught.
PRATT: It can be taught and it can be practiced. And the more you practice it, the better you get.
KING: We have another question from our audience, from Elizabeth Decosta (ph). Elizabeth.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Hi, guys. So I’ve been working the principles and staying positive and all of that. My question is, how do you politely address those around you, whether they’re friends or family, who don’t support you or are not on the same path and — well, actually turn down your goals, your dreams and your aspirations? Are you supposed to, like, remove them from your circle, or how do you…
KING: Great question. I will go to Jayne first and then…
PAYNE: The thing that I’ve found with working with this for many years is once you begin to have that attraction in your life, and once you begin to put that into motion and it begins to happen for you, an amazing thing happens. These things just kind of fall away from your life, because you’re no long attracting them. So they kind of resolve themselves. They will just eventually dissipate because you’re attracting something new into your life. And when we eliminate something out of our life, we replace it with something else.
RAY: The things we’re talking about here, your peer group will change. When you choose to pursue your greatness, you’ll represent the courage, in many cases, that other people don’t have. And so you’ve got to be prepared for that.
But it will, as Jayne said, take care of itself. It doesn’t mean they’re not good people. They’re wonderful people, as I believe all people are, but they’re not going in the same direction you are.
And so — you still love them, but I would recommend you don’t spend high quantity time with people who aren’t in the same mindset.
KING: Jack, what’s the importance of responding to feedback?
CANFIELD: Well, basically, I teach that the way to improve is to solicit and respond to feedback. So I teach a question that my wife and I use once a week, and that I teach other people to use. On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate the quality of our relationship, or how would you rate the quality of this show or this product or service we have?
Anything less than ten gets a follow-up question: what would it take to make it a ten?
So one time I did this with my wife and she said six. And I said, wow what would it take to make it a ten?
She said don’t interrupt me when I’m telling a joke because you think you can tell a punchline better. She said your job is to put the kids to bed. I don’t care if it is the NBA playoffs, I don’t want to have to remind you. You don’t remind me to get them up in the morning. She went on with about five or six other things. But now I have five ways I can improve my relationship. Most people don’t ask for feedback because they are afraid of what they’re going to hear.
KING: What if you disagree?
CANFIELD: You don’t have to agree. You don’t have to do it. But at least I know what, in her perception, would allow the relationship to go forward.
And here’s the other thing. Most people don’t ask and the reason is they’re afraid to hear it. I say, look, if you don’t ask your wife or your children or whatever, they’ve already — your wife’s already told her mother, her girlfriend, the people at work, the people at the supermarket, the people in the hair salon. You’re the only one who doesn’t know.
KING: Coming up in our final segment, how to make the start of your day the start of a new life.
Don’t go away.
DR. SANJAY GUPTA, CNN MEDICAL CORRESPONDENT: Hello.
I’m Dr. Sanjay Gupta.
If you’re enjoying tonight’s LARRY KING LIVE, tune in Sunday at 10:00 p.m. I’m going to have an hour long special on the remarkable links between happiness and your health.
You’re going to learn about the latest research and how it could help you live a longer and happier life.
I’m also going to tell you why laughter really might be the best medicine.
All of that this Sunday at 10:00 p.m. Eastern.
“Happiness and Your Health: the Surprising Connection.”
Meantime, also visit the specials website at CNN.com/happiness.
KING: We’re back.
I want to get some questions in from the audience and wind up from each of our panelists.
Jocelyn McCarthy (ph).
Hi, thank you.
My question is how do you manage personal, professional and spiritual life in this demanding society?
RAY: That’s harmonic wealth. It really is. You know, I think you — I think that presupposes that you can’t do that. You absolutely can. You absolutely can. You need to make a decision you can. You need to sit down.
I would encourage you to sit down right now and make a list of the five key areas of life, financial, relational, intellectual, physical, spiritual and what exactly you want to create and attract in each of those areas. And then keep your attention on that, regardless of what’s going on around you and you’ll begin to create it.
KING: And one more from Ron Drescher (ph) and then a follow-up with each of our panelists — Ron.
QUESTION: All right.
I want to be more happy, spiritual and at peace in my life. How do I get started?
KING: Joe? VITALE: Find things to be grateful for right now. Right in this moment. The fact that you can ask this question, the fact that you are alive, the fact that you’re breathing, the fact that you’re living wherever you’re living.
Find a reason to be grateful, much like you mentioned earlier, with a tear in your eye because it is so genuine for you. Out of that gratitude you will find more things to be grateful for. And out of that gratitude you will find happiness right now.
KING: Jack, explain give more to get more.
CANFIELD: Well, basically, the universe responds. If you give, it comes back to you. We’ve been talking about giving out vibrations. The vibrations come back. The same is true with money. If I give more money, more money tends to come back in my life.
Every time, Larry, that I’ve gone and done some kind of volunteer work, something’s happened out of that experience where I’ve met somebody, maybe a bank president, who then hires me to come speak to his company.
It always comes back. So basically, people that are successful — I mean, you had Donald Trump and Kiyosaki on your program not so long ago. And they’re two of the biggest givers I know. And so by giving, they get more back. And I think that it’s true for all of us. So givers get.
KING: Dr. Pratt, how do you start a new day to start a new life?
PRATT: Well, I like the gratitude list in the morning. And then doing the two minutes of imagery of the different elements that you want. If you want to change something in your life, make that part of the end result imagery, in terms of balance, spiritually, mentally, physically, et cetera. Make that part of that two-minute imagery, so that you can come back to it, so you’re mindful during the day, you’re aware of it. And so your attention is continuing to be focussed on it.
KING: Jayne, isn’t change the hardest thing?
KING: The thing we fear the most.
PAYNE: … it’s the thing that’s feared the most.
However, change within itself will happen automatically whether we want it or not. Change goes on every day. It’s how we react to the change in our life that determines what the outcome will be.
KING: James, how about world problems and the effect on daily life? You look at an Iraq or you look at hurricanes, North Korea setting off a bomb.
RAY: Right. KING: It’s easy to say, I’m not too sure about tomorrow.
RAY: It is. I mean, we have a nation in fear. We have a world in fear because we’re bombarded all the time with the things that are going on that appear to be so heinous.
But here’s the thing, we live in a dualistic world. The law of polarity says if there’s an up, there’s a down, if there’s an in, there’s an out. What that means is if you’re in a really challenging situation in your life right now, there’s something there that’s really amazing about it as well. But you’re not putting your attention upon it.
See, when you shift your attention, you being to think about it. During the difficult times in our life, Larry, we learn and grow the most through challenges. Don’t wish for an easier life. We wish for greater capability to ease elegantly through life.
KING: Only have a minute or so left.
Do you have bad days, Jack?
CANFIELD: I don’t have bad days. I can’t say I never had…
KING: You don’t have bad days?
KIND: You have bad days, Joe?
VITALE: Occasionally I have bumps in the road, but I certainly get through them much faster than I used to.
PAYNE: I don’t have bad days anymore.
PRATT: Quick recovery with the new techniques.
RAY: I don’t have bad days. I have challenges, but challenges are a part of life.
KING: James Ray, Jack Canfield, Dr. Joe Vitale — George Pratt, Joe Vitale, rather. Dr. George Pratt and Jayne Payne on “Beyond the Power of Positive Thinking.”
We hope you found this show illuminating. We’d love to hear your comments about it.
We thank you for joining us.
“AC 360” with Anderson Cooper is next. Good night.
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